3/26/07 - Dinner - BBQ Monday

The rain didn't keep us from making a pilgrimage to the famous Central Texan BBQ in Castroville.

Fun for the whole family. From left to right: front row: Ryan & Pat; back row: Nicole, Luke, & Gabe "The Matador" Fierro-Fine, sneaking his "Yo quiero BBQ!" mug into the shot. Not pictured: me and Susan (our fearless driver).


A bad dream for a vegetarian, the Texas Stampede: sausage (what kinds? all kinds), beef ribs, pork ribs, brisket, chicken, & onions. No messing around, here. Not pictured: pinto beans, French bread, potato salad, macaranoi salad, tossed salad, peaches, apples...a veritable orgy of tastes, with leftovers, so you can bring the orgy home.

Luke checks for lice while LNP Eater, Ryan, kills his beef rib. Like a jackal, that Ryan is.

El Matador, satisfecho.

3/26/07 - Lunch

Lasagna with lots of grilled asparagus seasoned with salt, pepper, & oregano. I felt so healthy eating some greens.

Later, in the loo, my urine smelled like a DuPont factory.

3/26/07 - Breakfast

More gruel: apples & cinnamon mixed with maple nut oatmeal.

Free Katie!

03/21/07 - Dinner

This bad boy had been sitting in the freezer for awhile now, so I decided to give it a shot. I kind of regret that now. Why have you forsaken me, Rick Bayless? This thing kind of sucked. I think it mostly had to do with the tomatoes, they tasted weird (which, in my limited experience of vegetables means they didn't taste like Zachary's tomatoes). Bummer.

03/20/07 - Dinner

A culinary caucus! Vern, being the smarty pants he is, got accepted to Mills so he took a trip up our way to check the school out. And, what do you know, but we had a last night patty party. We were all hungry (a pre-requisite for last night's patty) so we had to find somewhere to eat in a hurry. I hadn't been to Oscar's in quite awhile (I think the last time I went was when we went ice skating? Not sure) so I suggested that. It seemed casual enough, and it sure was. Johnny lamented about living in the city, and I got full on a hamburger and french fries. The most annoying thing about Oscar's is that they will run out of bacon so I can't get a bacon burger. I'm usually pretty shocked when they say they have no bacon. Why'd they run out of bacon? Whenever they tell me they're out, I think they're joking so I kind of laugh along, but they stare at me deadpan. Oh well.

On the way to Oscar's, Vern tried to do a last night's patty entry on cactus. He got attacked. You can't eat cactus vern (the picture he didn't want you to see)!

03/19/07 - Dinner

After the previous night's debacle, I had to make my own food. I think this was the pork, green chili sausage from whole foods. Not that great. French fries were pretty good though. The ketchup I used is kind of suspect too (whole foods 365 brand). I think I need to stick with Heinz.

I'm currently looking for a better way to cook inside. When I cook stuff like sausage on the skillet, the entire apartment stinks and I hate that. When I cook the stuff on the george foreman, it just tastes kind of funny and I'm not a big fan of that. What can I do? I know I need to start actually BBQ'ing. Suggestions?

03/18/07 - Dinner

We arrived at about 7:30, and left at 9:30. Two hours. This was a debacle. It was the 9/11 of dinners. Rebecca and I get there, Allison and Scott are arguing about a bike lock or something. And we wait for 15 or 20 minutes for the table. We get seated, probably around 8-ish nothing out of the ordinary so far. Order, everything's still cool. But once 8:45 rolls around, we start to wonder 'didn't we order food?' Yeah, we did order food, that's right. We got the salad and breadsticks we ordered, but beyond that we were left to stare longingly at other tables' bountiful pizzas. Kristin was also supposed to get a salad, but she never did.

At 8:56 the waitress comes to us and proudly declares "I heard you should have you food in 4 minutes!" I tell her I'm timing her - not joking. Fifteen minutes later no food. Seventeen minutes later, the food starts to trickle out. First it's Rebecca's baked eggplant thing. Looked like mush. Then it's Alex's slices. Then everyone elses. Lost in all of this are my slices. "Don't worry, they're coming," the waitress tells me. They don't come. She comes back with one slice and says my meal is free. She asks what my other slice was, Sausage. A different waitress comes back with the wrong slice, that I think someone takes quickly. I'm still left with one slice. Eventually my slice comes.

As I'm trying to finish up and get the hell out of there, someone is trying Rebecca's Eggplant Bake and extracts a sizable piece of parchment paper. WTFWTFWTFW FA:SLKJDHALJHWTF IS GOING ON HERE. I can't believe this. This is the worst experience ever. The whole meal is free and we leave. Absurd. Ridiculous. Unfathomable. Ludicrous. Amazing. Retarded. Confounding (yes, confounding). etc etc etc.

The love affair with Telegraph Lanesplitters is over. We even knew two people in the kitchen! One came out and talked to us and we asked if it was busy that night and he said 'no not really.' What? Seriously? Then why did it take so long? At least lie to us to make us feel better. As Allison said, this place has become too cool. A meeting place for mongrels.

3/25/07 - Lunch

Same burrito as before: flower tortilla, avocado, refried beans, & bbq sauce. Had this for dinner at the shop later. I'm still eating like a student.

Luke was in full multitasking mode, fixing his golf cart and watching March Madness on the kitchen TV pointed out the door. He was spraying chemicals outside and the fumes drifted into the kitchen, ruining my appetite.

3/24/07 - Breakfast

Slept in and awoke with a headache; ate a banana while reading the L'Uomo Vogue Fashion Guide. Dig the grey cardigan with the blue tie.

L'Uomo Vogue dice:

"Preppy come la gioventú wasp americana , bella, colta e spensierata. Che Ali MacGraw nel film "Love Story" accusa di superficialitá. Il look? Garbati cardigan e golf tradizionali."

3/24/07 - Breakfast

Irish oatmeal: instant oatmeal, boiling water, two shots of Bailey's. Warms you all over.

3/23/07 - Lunch

Flour tortilla, avocado, & refried beans, w/Bone Suckin' bbq sauce. I 'borrowed' the sauce from Luke without asking. He hasn't noticed. Thanks, Luke.

3/23/07 - Breakfast

I appreciate a banana most when the fruit is firm and the peel still slightly green. When they begin to go black, I feel a little unsure about peeling them, afraid to find the dreaded sugar spots. At this point the mealy texture inspires a gagging sensation, and I won't even consider them when the fruit goes brown, bruised and limp, as if the banana is eagerly digesting itself for easier consumption.

Hot tip: best to use these flacid, aged bananas for banana bread.

3/22/07 - Dinner

I swore off Zoccoli's deli (a mediocre delicatessen that's usually overcrowded and has poor service) a year ago, yet I found myself ordering a feta sandwich at dinnertime. I was bored with burritos and decided on this old standby, one of the few decent items on the menu.

It's a francesi roll (stale by this time of day, unfortunately), with cucumbers, lettuce, tomatoes, red peppers, feta cheese and tapenade sauce. I don't know what tapenade sauce is, but they definitely over-slathered this sandwhich. It was too salty and it made me feel ill. Zoccoli's does that to you. There's a weird vibe at that place and it creeps into your food.

Lucky for me, Lyds and Kallie were around for comic relief.

Great Moments In Eating

The Donner Party: cannibalism, American style.

Did George, Jacob & Jim Donner think to bring BBQ sauce when they lit out for Cali from Springfield, Illinois? It would've made their final, desperate situation more palatable, perhaps even delightful.

If I were caught in a cannibalisitic predicament amongst my closest friends, say in a freak snowboarding incident, this is why I'd eat them:

1) Luke - Dude has some thick shanks. Have you seen those things jiggle? Great breasts as well. You could survive off Luke leftovers for a week.
2) Ryan - Ryan's diet is heavy with protein. He'd be a pretty hearty meal. Because of his height, there's an ample amount of meat on his bones. A one-man banquet.
3) Johnny - Thick legs run in the Sanders family.
4) Gabe - Stalky wrestler. Tough, yet protein-packed.
5) Steve - Runs and bikes a lot 'cus he's an unemployed bum. Steve is tall. Lean, but worth several healthy meals. A smorgasbord.
6) Chris - Another skinny & tall guy. He'd be like chicken on a stick. I'd have Chris curry-style.
7) Leigh - Appetizer.
8) Si - A delicacy. Probably the healthiest to eat of 'em all.







Steve & Si: with a fine wine, you're four-star dining.















Johnny's legs would go well with Webb Ranch sauce















Prime Ryan














The Main Course

03/18/07 - Breakfast

Breakfast is a pretty rare occurrence for me around here. The weirdness of this is equivalent to the rarity of breakfast. My parents came up to SF for my sister to give my dad a haircut. They originally wanted to get brunch, but I didn't feel like that. So they decided to get breakfast. Ok cool, I'll be there. Where are we going? Crepevine. Crepevine? WTF. Why am I driving a half an hour when I can go to the crepevine five minutes from my house? I relented and went. Their french toast is good. Their house potatoes are still kind of suspect. I don't know if they're too heavy or what.

When I took my camera out to take this picture, my mom asked what I was doing and I embarassingly explained it to her. She was surprsingly excited, and wanted me to take a picture of the potatoes because I was eating those as well. I didn't take the picture. Sorry mom.

After breakfast we drove up to Sausolito. That was fun.

03/17/07 - Dinner

Picante off of Gilman. It's somehow associated with Alice Waters, not exactly sure how, though. Chips were bomb ass. Thick and dope. I definitely ate the green stuff on the tacos. I think it was called Rajas. Meat was really good and juicy. Beans, meh, I could go either way. Even though the bottled coke was a point of contention in the burrito round up, it didn't really play a part in this experience. Very good. I want to try a burrito next time. I also want to try Dona Tomas on Telegraph and 51st. For some reason it looks like there is a hair in my taco.

03/16/07 - Dinner

Finally ate at La Cascada. I've been waiting to eat there for awhile. Sorely disappointed. I think it's time for a burrito round up.

1) Cancun in Berkeley - tastiest meat, coke in bottles, good chips, etc.
2) TIE Vallarta in Santa Cruz/Capitola and Las Palmas in Rockridge. Vallarta has the best chips and hugest burritos, but they don't really taste like much. They also have a nostalgia factor. Palmas' burritos actually taste like something, which is nice.
3) Cancun in Santa Cruz - pretty good. Nice chips. Good prices.
4) Green Chile in SF - Good, clean interior. Spicy.
5) Chipotle - Alright I guess. Better than Baja Fresh.
6) La Cascada - Yellow cheese? Wtf. Plastic coke bottles? WTF. I want my mexican coke.
7) Cactus on college - nothing special at all.
8) Baja Fresh - Can NEVER get my order right (see past updates). Overly expensive. Annoying music.

9) La Burrita - makes my pee smell funny.

3/20/07 - Dinner

Drove up to Oakland to see the boys and visit Mills college.

Ryan, going dumb when he heard we were going to Oscar's for dinner.

Johnny (pissed off at the world), Leigh (contemplating the political impact of her plate of food), some fries (french), and two burgers (tasty) from Oscar's. I had me a hamburger with everything on it: beef patty, onions, lettuce, tomato, ketchup & mustard, along with a side of fries. It was a true American meal from a fine Berkeley institution.

Food coma. Minutes later, Ryan snapped out of it; his crazy driving made Johnny sick on the way over to see Chris.

3/19/07 - Dinner - BBQ Monday

After bible league b-ball practice--praise He who let us practice without injury--Chris and I met up with Bill and Maryse at Armadillo Willie's for all-you-can-eat ribs. Shown here are the 4/12 ribs I ate that night, along with Texas toast, corn muffin and green salad. Texas toast is famously scrumptious; it's some sort of sourdough (or white bread) grilled to a crisp on one side and left soft on the other.

Special guest Chris Miller (he's living in Oakland now!), and BillMan, on his first BBQ Monday.

3/18/07 - Lunch

Amy's potato leek soup, fresh out of the can.

3/18/07 - Breakfast

Toasted English muffins, butter, & lots of nooks & crannies.

3/17/07 - Dinner

PIzza My Heart is a decent pizzeria. Top slices (though soggy sometimes) but it's really about their collection of vintage longboards hanging from the ceiling. I want to steal them for a day, go surf, and return them later at night. Tudors, Takayama, Augusts...all priceless, pristene, unridden logs.

Oh, and I caught dad sneaking a slice of pesto with pine nuts under the 'stache. There wasn't a stray bit of cheese, pesto, or tomato sauce to be found in his whiskers. He's been doing the 'stache dodge for the past 39 years and rarely does one capture the majesty of a seasoned veteran in action. And, no, he doesn't use product in there; no waxing or brushing either. That thing is a free for all, untrimmed, au natural, and most importantly, Epic.

3/17/07 - Lunch

Tofurky kielbasa, wheat bun, spicy mustard. A staple.

3/17/07 - Dessert

1:30am: me, Molly and Luke convened at Denny's to bug Maya, a bookshopper and ace waitress.

Picked away at some dessert (chocolate brownie with hot fudge and a scoop of vanilla ice cream). & I squirted ketchup on my jeans.

3/16/07 - Dinner part 2

This curious-looking pizza is called "lamjoun" and you can find it at the 515 Club on Center St in Santa Cruz. The principal contributors to heartburn in this dish include ground lamb, feta cheese, pine nuts and spicy red pepper sprinkled on top of flatbread. Goes well with the similarly over-priced beer they serve. It's all very yuppiefied ethnic fusion cuisine you can find in the downtowns of most small, white cities like Santa Cruz, Davis, Santa Barbara, etc. Tasty as all get-out.

We were at 515 casually celebrating Molly's departure from the shop. A few weeks ago she landed an engineering job in the Yay Area. She's only been at the shop for nine months, and, as Luke pointed out, it's like she has given birth....to herself. Rather than go stale in retail she was motivated enough to apply for jobs pertaining to what she actually studied in college. Imagine that.

I might join her and my fellow eater, Ryan, in the Yay Area soon. Mills College accepted me a few days ago. By this fall I'll be ready to sample the cornucopia of its bounteous offerings.

3/16/07 - Dinner

I walked over to the falafel place on Walnut St. and ate a french fries and a falafel sandwich which consisted of falafel, lettuce, tomato, yogurt & pita bread

The falafel went down roughly, felt like stones settling in the bottom of my stomach. Earlier at work we'd thrown a goodbye party for a coworker. Someone produced some olallaberry pie and cake. I'm a sucker for pie (I want a wedding pie rather than a wedding cake). Had a slice and a cup of lemonade. Keep in mind this was after the notorious chicken bake earlier in the day.

The night's gluttony continued later...

3/16/07 - Lunch

Luke and I went to yoga in the morning. It was my first time and it was a challenging experience; yoga pushed my flexibility to its limits, invigorating both mind and body. Afterwardes, I felt relaxed, balanced, on the top of the world; I was also hungry. With our spirits realigned and limber, we then decided to pay a visit to one of the least-healthy eateries in the county: the Costco Food Court.

Luke had two slices of combo pizza and I had this...

the Chicken Bake: chicken, bacon, caesar dressing baked around sourdough cheese bread. Namaste!

03/15/07 - Dinner

Rebecca wanted Chinese. It was her turn to decide where we eat. After my last experience with Chinese food (vomiting in the bathroom), I was slightly hesitant, but it all turned out great. We (she) picked a random place on Solano, and I'm happy to report I did not throw up later that night. I got the Kung Pao Beef, with peanuts. Instead of throwing up, we watched Anchorman. Great movie.

03/13/07 - Dinner

"j & r:
my dinner is going to be lots of tortilla pizzas. yours could be too if
you want!
i've got fresh mozzarella, parmesan, tomatoes, sauce, basil, garlic,
etc., and you can decide what you want on your very own.
eating at 7:30.
lemme know if you're in, i might need to get some more tomatoes. and i
could be convinced to get some meat for ryan the veggie lover!" Leigh's email proclaimed. I was invited. I went. I ate. Above, you see my tortizza creation. It was extremely greasy, but the cheese was amazing.

If I don't post a lunch, assume it's pizza.

3/15/07 - Dinner

Ordered this work of art at Los Piños on my dinner break.

Despite knowing how messy your plate (and your face) gets, despite the soggy tortillas and the mush of sour cream and guacamole and salsa that's inevitably left over, you're still grinning like a drunk caballero when you dig into a heaping, swampy plate of nachos.


Pictured: tortilla chips, chicken, cheddar cheese, sour cream, jalapeños, refried beans and a mountain range of guacamole.

3/15/07 - Lunch

Nuked six chicken TJ toquitos before work.

Maya's finger was not a part of this meal.

3/15/07 - Breakfast

Instant maple oatmeal: warm, hearty and sweet as a nut. Time to get back on the gruel wagon. I miss this stuff.

3/14/07 - Dinner

Recharged with a plate of Italian sausage tortellini (with a light butter sauce) and a side of sauteed asparagus.

Not pictured: tater tots with mayo and hot yellow mustard. Sounds disgusting, right? It really isn't. Mayonnaise is a legitimate condiment. Rich like an egg, buttery in texture and taste, and it has that sweet kick that coats the tongue and lingers a little while after. Luke said I put the "yo" in mayo. I can't agree more. I vote yes! to mayonnaise on nearly everything (within reason).

Miracle Whip claims usurper status, but their tangy zip is a cheap tagline. And there's very few vegonnaise or nayonnaise that I actually like. In the end, homemade trumps all concerning the varieties of mayonnaise and its substitutes.

3/14/07 - Lunch

Birds circled overhead, eyeing me as I unwrapped this tamale.

Primavera tamale: white corn, & zucchini in roasted tomato chipotle salsa with jack cheese.

This nutricious meal fueled me for the basketball game I played with Ben and Bill at the bible league. At the game I contributed one assist and gave a foul. We won 46 to 32.

It's pretty evident that we're going to crush all the other teams. We have Jesus on our side. We play for Him and Him only.

3/14/07 - Breakfast

Ate a late breakfast of a banana and four halves (or two) toasted english muffins with Smart Balance soy butter and Knotts apple cinnamon jelly. Killed the jelly. It was a tiny jar, worth about six healthy dollops with a teaspooon.

Smart Balance, like most soy milk, is nearly indistinguishable from the food it replaces: margarine. Get on the Smart Balance tip if you haven't. Margarine will kill ya. (Actually, natural organic butter is probably better for you than margarine). Luke tried and approved the soybutter. You should try it too.

Speaking of Luke: later on in the day he was jonesing for the same apple cinnamon jelly and was not pleased that I had finished it off. Sorry brah.